Can a scar stay with you forever? As much as you think that you have buried the past and all systems are a go. I can guarantee you that there is still some hurt there. We move on with our lives thinking that the past won’t play a role in our current lives. We say that is forgotten and I have forgiven everyone for what they did to me. I am free!! But the day comes and you relapse mentally; on a defect that never left. Little by little you are bringing back the past subconsciously. Creating uncomfortable moments in your life that are troublesome and you know it; but you won’t be honest with yourself. Sometimes being honest is the hardest thing to do especially when you know you are wrong. Much of our scars come from the past or present. Something that happened to us when we were young or older, whatever it was it hurt us bad enough to maintain it alive in our mind. When I was young I dealt with allot of racism. I always felt when young that I wasn’t good enough because society told me I wasn’t I was always drowned out by the other race when going to school. I had developed low self esteem and not knowing much of anything was accepted by me. Sounding dumb or failing was ok because I was supposed to be slow. Lately I have been down because of a position I wanted and didn’t get. It was given to someone else who to me does not have half the experience I got. The first thing that came to my mind was the scars of the past are still hear. I am not good enough because I am not the right kind? Stupid was that feeling! because no one has shown me that type of attitude where I work. However the scars are still there and the wounds of the past have not healed yet. I must do my best to grow out of it. I believe that my time is coming and that I will be surprised with the outcome. I am meditating more on my character. I still have a long way to go before I heal and I must be grateful for what I have. I must not worry about others but worry about myself. For my God will give me what I deserve and no less. I must remember that the universe is in control and what I think is what the universe gives to me. I have forgiving everyone from the past however I must forgive myself. I believe that is what’s missing. On top of that maybe God is setting me up for something better. I have been through so many obstacles and passed them all. I do believe when people read my book they will know who I am and what I can do. I can do anything I want.
Have a nice day :0)