Anger is it an emotion of the past that has not been dealt with?  Did you go throw some terrible experiences as a child? Most likely you did. Anger is there for a reason not because you are maladjusted to life and just mean. Have you buried the past and just said its water under the bridge, but that bridge keeps overflowing that issue back into your life. You will find yourself getting angry easily and always in the wrong even when you think you are right. You start to alienate yourself and justify your attitude until you have lost every good friend you had. Than that anger turns into depression and the medicine cabinet because your daily friend. When I got sober 21 years ago I remember how angry I was and how I chased away everybody who knew me. I learned to take a moral and fearless inventory of myself as I learned in a 12 step program. I would write down everything and be honest with myself and only than I would find the answers to my terrible attitude and why I would blow up so quickly. Is there justified anger? Of course there is, but you need to learn to channel it so you don’t hurt yourself and someone else. I will give you a little story. When me, my wife, and kids moved to Norfolk Virginia, it was Christmas of 1992. We didn’t know anyone so we decided to party ourselves like we do back on the island. We played some salsa music and cooked some good Puerto Rican food. We were having a great time, but this white lady bangs on my door and I open it.  She says we can’t play that kind of music that loud. My first response was to call her a very bad name; I held back and said I was sorry and I would lower it. I noticed later she lived by herself and was a widow. We had invited her over for dinner one day and after a good plate of rice and beans and some good Puerto Rican charm. She was dancing salsa with us and having a great time also. Oh yeh, she told me to turn up the volume also. Sometimes anger is nothing but a cry out for love and compassion!  It’s ok for one to be blind, but someone has to be open minded to catch the real problem; lack of companionship, love, and understanding. I still can get a little angry but I am getting better by showing love and understanding, and sometimes given that someone a big hug. Love can conquer anger, once you know what you are angry about.

May your dreams come alive in 2013 :0)

Tyrone Garcia.

My book “Soap That Doesn’t Clean” will be out in 3 weeks