Underneath this post is the building were my anger started St. Helena School In the Bronx NY.. It’s a different place today the school is very diverse, but when I was there It was 98% white and maybe 1% Hispanic and 1% black. I studied there from 1967 to 1976 When I graduated I was 15 years old. I had already started drinking, getting high, and getting involved with street gangs, the worse of all was I had become racial and angry. How can such a place be so bad?, The people were the bad ones. In my first year, I was humiliated in class by the Nun. The nuns would hit you constantly, I guess they took out their frustrations on the students, for having to live a life of celibacy. I guess I would be mad to if I couldn’t have sex which is a natural desire. In those days if you complained to your mother about the nuns hitting you, they would get mad and hit you to. You were always getting hit for anything in those days. I would take the city bus the # 36- the # 42 I would have to bring my lunch, because it was a private school and lunch wasn’t part of the tuition. My mother would give me $1.00 on occasion and across the street there was a luncheonette called Amy’s you could have several specials like a hamburger fires and a coke for .65 cents. The school was heavily Irish,and Italian and maybe some others, but those were the 2 strongest races of white people in those days. Jews were also very big, but they kept separated from the rest and this was a Catholic school. In one occasion my mother saw me rubbing my skin with soap and brillo pads. I was so tired of being different that I tried to clean the brown skin of my body, being white was superior I was only 7 years old at the time, but I was always getting picked on and was abused by the nuns. They were always hitting me than sitting me in the waste pail they would tell the class I was worthless.. In my book I give some of the punishments that were done to me growing up in that school. The good thing though I graduated and did become friends with some of the students as time went on, however from the 1st grade to the 3rd they did a number on me that till today I still have clear in my mind. I have no grudges but man why was everything so racial in those days. I sometimes suffer from fear, like today in school when I was asked a question the fear could cloud my mind and though I may know the answer I will get confused and start to panic. “Its all good” The important thing is, I am alive today to talk about it.
Have a nice day :0)
My book “soap that doesn’t clean” will be out soon.